Not all moms will appreciate this as much as I do, but I'm sure there are some that had the same sleep challenges I have had with Asher.
My husband & I have done tons of research about how babies sleep. We've read books & watched videos & listened to all the tips & advice friends & family have given. My wonderful son was not one of those babies that just slept well, like some of my mommy friends. I've come to learn that if you nurse, you are likely to face some different challenges than formula fed babies.
Long story short... Asher was/is dependent on the bottle for sleep. Call it what you will, It was the only way for him to fall asleep. So, in the middle of the night... When he would wake up, guess what he would cry for? Some nights were better than others, but I've had 2 breaking points since he's been in his crib, where I said, "That's it! I can't take it anymore! I need sleep!"
So for the past 2 months or so we've been preparing him to sleep without the bottle WITHOUT crying it out. We tried removing the bottle from his mouth several times (Pantleys gentle removal plan), we tried a pacifier (he hates it), we tried giving a BIG bottle at the beginning of the night.... Yadda yadda yadda. We've tried it all, and I feel like when I look back at it, we have definitely made progress & it has prepared us for what we went through this weekend.
At some point we weighed the options. We could wait until he's older & grows out of it... Or some form of cry it out. Again... NOT A FAN OF CRY IT OUT!
EVERY THING I read lead to the same conclusion. He needs to learn to put himself to sleep, and guess what... He's not going to like it & will protest. I mean, we all protest change, right?
We are exhausted parents thriving on caffeine & broken up sleep just to get us through the day. Some days I had to have a grandparent come over early so I could sneak away for a nap! I just couldn't imagine myself doing this for another year or even months for that matter. It's affecting my mind, my ability to lose weight & my mood some days. We decided to let him cry.
Like I've said, we've read multiple books on this issue & we decided to not go with once certain method. Instead, we decided we would do what we thought was best for Asher. When I say "we", I mean my husband. He did the hard work.
So we had this plan to start Friday night, but then he slept well 2 nights in a row before that, so we decided to postpone. Then Saturday night, when we were putting him to sleep, his bottle finished & he wasn't asleep yet (daylight savings time messed up his internal clock). He was upset. This rarely happens, but instead of making him another bottle, my husband rolled with it. He stayed in the room with him, reassured him constantly & laid him down. He did this over & over while Asher cried. This cry was more of an upset cry. Clearly, he wasn't hurt &/or didn't feel abandoned. He was just tired and wanted his bottle! He cried for an hour and 45 minutes. I cried myself. I questioned if this was the right thing to do, prayed, everything to get my mind off of it but I couldn't. It was much harder for me then it was for my husband. After all the crying & wondering if he would ever go to sleep, he fell asleep. That night he slept 4 hours and 27 minutes straight. Now, I know this doesn't seem like a long time for most of you, but our son was waking every 2ish hours, so 4 hours and I was ready to take on the day! We didn't let him cry again. Instead we gave him a small 2oz bottle of water, left the room & he fell asleep. He only woke one more time that night.
The next night we sleep trained, hubby gave him his bedtime bottle then cried when it was done. This is new for him because we have been cutting his bottles down to practically water & 3oz at the most. But guess what? He only cried for 30 minutes! And even better news than that... he slept for 7 hours & 21 minutes! That is a record for him! He woke up crying once, more like a whimper, not full on cry, but stayed in our room & he fell back asleep. This is so doable! Even if it stayed like this, I could function properly! However, I know if we continue, he will eventually be sleeping straight & I can get my sleep back! I am so thrilled!
I hate to admit that every one was right about crying it out, but it's true. I think there are some methods that are harder than others for your little one and you have to find what's right for you & your family. I knew there was no way we could just leave him in his room to cry. But my husband staying with him the whole time and letting him know everything is okay was the best thing. I know he didn't feel abandoned or unloved at any time. I can't thank him enough for being the strong one.
I will update as we continue to teach my son how to sleep.
